The Brits are so much like us, they're practically Canadian. They speak our language, join us in both our valiant and wrongheaded wars. It's only natural we want them to love us, love our games.
Except they don't. Not really, no matter how hard we try to transplant our professional sports overseas and generate even more revenues. The Brits don't need our American football because they have their beloved rugby to fill that violent niche. They don't really get our basketball, not viscerally, not like the Italians, French and Spaniards.
Why not? Simon Barnes, the former Times of London columnist, once summarized his indifference toward basketball in two words: 'No midfield.' There you have it. Football isn't rugby. Basketball isn't soccer, or tennis. Odds are that William and Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, prefer sitting quietly in the royal box at Wimbledon watching Andy Murray moan and groan his way to another Grand Slam quarterfinal. We still remember how Princess Diana was uncannily transfixed by Pete Sampras's one-handed backhand.
Still, for the sake of their charitable Royal Foundation and a partnership with the NBA in wildlife conservation, William and Kate headed to Brooklyn on Monday night to watch several minutes of the Cavs' 110-88 victory over the Nets, featuring the world's greatest basketball player. Or, as one perplexed British news-side journalist asked on the phone, back to his editor, 'Luh-Braun James, is it?'
James himself somehow did not quite grasp this level of ignorance or ulterior motivation. He firmly believed, to the end, that royalty was rightfully arriving at Barclays Center to honor the King and his court. He met the duo afterward, gave them cupcakes and a little jersey for the baby-to-be.
'For them to take the time out of their lives means a lot,' he said. 'I thanked them that they came to America to watch our game. I was honored.'
William and Kate had strolled to their courtside seats with seven minutes left in the third period, seemingly unconcerned that action was crashing all around them, and having skipped the first 29 minutes of NBA action. They've skipped more than that in their young lives. When the Nets flew to London last season to play the Hawks, the Duke and Duchess didn't bother to attend the game at O2 Arena. They arrived just in time Monday to see the Cavs go on a 39-13 run and turn a tie into a rout. Kate, in glittery gray, appeared a bit confused about the concept of being shown on the big scoreboard screen. Luckily, no KissCam.
'They brought luck to us,' James said. 'We switched tempo.'
To his credit, James took full, political advantage of the glaring spotlight. He and Kyrie Irving donned 'I Can't Breathe' warmup T-shirts, given to them by Jarrett Jack, in support of those remembering Eric Garner's death. A fairly large contingent of demonstrators had lain down on the sidewalk and a traffic intersection outside the arena before the game to protest the non-indictment of police officer Daniel Pantaleo.
'It's not a Cavs' thing, it's a worldly thing,' James said. 'As a society we have to do better, be better. It's a message to the family. I'm sorry for their loss. Sorry to the wife. Violence is not the answer.'
In many ways, the players and coaches could relate more to the Garner tragedy than to the appearance of British royalty. The House of Windsor is not exactly a part of their personal experience.
'I'm not impressed by people,' Lionel Hollins said. '(William and Kate) serve their purposes for their country. If they say they want to meet me, I'd be honored. If not, no sweat.'
The proximity of the royal couple to the bounding bodies was actually disconcerting, because the Duchess is in her second trimester and due to give birth in April. Deron Williams said he normally doesn't notice who's sitting in the seats when he dives for a ball along the sideline, but might in this instance.
'Depends on what happens afterward,' he said. 'Will I be arrested? Banned from going to the UK?'
If nothing else, the Nets easily blew away the Knicks this week in the battle of Celebrity Rows. Just one night earlier, the Knicks introduced the cast of 'Downton Abbey' to a near-silent reaction from the befuddled Garden crowd. Wrong demographic. The Nets had the real thing Monday night, the true aristocrats, though Williams insisted the team already had that long ago.
'We have Beyonce and Jay Z,' Williams said. 'That's the royal couple.'
During an extended intermission after the third period, Beyonce and Jay Z walked across the court, slowly, regally, to meet Kate and William. They huddled. For some foolish reason, their chat was interrupted and the two teams decided to finish the game.
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