I take my Mardi Gras seriously. As I sit here writing this on this very FAT Tuesday, I'm eating ice cream straight out of the container and it's 11:45 a.m. This is my treat after polishing off a fried chicken sandwich and biggie-sizing the fries. That's right. I did it. I HAVE to do it, because all sweets must be removed from this house by tomorrow. And, I don't care about the caloric, gluttonous implications because tomorrow we are back on the rails for 40 days.
Every year I give up sugar for Lent. For the last five years, I've had two Girl Scouts in this house. Try giving up sugar when you are drowning in a sea of Samoas. I daresay Jesus did not have that kind of temptation in the desert. Okay, well that might be a bit of a stretch.
I'm going to go against the grain of religious society and announce that I think all the Lenten observers in Louisville area get a BYE this year.
Why?
Don't you think that a winter of complete and absolute arctic misery is enough penance? Can we just take all the pain and suffering of snow days and storms and pay it forward into Lent? I think I need to make a proposal to the Archbishop. Or better yet, pray to God. I'm sure The Almighty will give me an answer in due time.
My proposal is that the actions performed during this current winter count for Lent.
Here is my list of Lenten qualifiers:
( Check all that apply to you)
Withstood 12 snow days with children at home. Note the use of the verb 'withstood' instead of 'succeeded'. Everyone survived despite the Devil working his magic. Homeschooled those children on those snow days. I count Minecraft, Instagram, texting and the Wii as part of my teaching arsenal. I count my statement 'Thank God for the sun' as religion on those days. NOT saying out loud that you wanted to throat punch Pharrell if you heard the song 'Happy' again. I predict that Pharrell would not be as 'happy' if he lived through this Louisville winter. Not expressing ill will towards a fellow man is very good. Shoveled the sidewalk, path or driveway more than once. This physical exertion is the Lord's work. Ate any of the five loaves of bread that you bought weekly at the grocery store in anticipation of the snow storm. Or, drank any wine during the cooped up, cold winter days. Could count for a very not-divine communion.
Considering that we have been doing these intentional acts of penance for over 40 days, more like 60+ days, we have more than paid it forward with our sacrifices. Surely it all counts for something right? All of this snow and text alerts and delays and ice and extra 10 pounds on our bodies have to matter!
Off to finish my ice cream and wait for a divine answer on my proposal.
Laissez les bon temps rouler, Louisville.
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